That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
