what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
