Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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