he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
