Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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