But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
