So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
