Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
