how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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