i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
