We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
