see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize