I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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