I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
