I feel great
I just peed on a car
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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