Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
