When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
