"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize