Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
