you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
