thus making me awesome and them whores
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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