Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
