Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
