break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
