no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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