That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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