She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
