Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
