dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
