I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
FUCK WHALES
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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