Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
