we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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