I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
