one two three fourrrrnication!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
