I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
