Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
