i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
