im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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