he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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