There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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