This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
