I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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