It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
