Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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