from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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