just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
