Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Randomize
