Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
