This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize