Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
