DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
