You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
