I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
