we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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