D3 body, D1 cock
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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