I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
