Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
