Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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