Having a random hookup so left but love u
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
