Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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