Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
