The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
