I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
