Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just puked most of my soul out..
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