She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
