When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
