Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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