I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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