he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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