i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
